Shitty cars you inexplicably have a thing for

"I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker" (qaaaaa) 07/17/2019 at 08:05 • Filed to: None

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For me, it’s the 7th generation 1993-1994 Dodge Colt, a rebadged Mitsubishi Mirage. Offered with a 1.5L 4G15 SOHC 8v or a 1.8L 4G93 also SOCH 16v paired to a 5 speed row your own or a 3 or 4 speed slusher sending 93 or 118 horses to the front wheels, this chariot could be had in 4 or 2 doors, but curiously it seems only the 4 door could handle the mighty power of the 4G93. The above example is listed locally to me with a manual at the lofty goal of $1200. Yeah, right.

Where do your shitbox dreams point, Oppo? And don't say Geo Metro, those are cool now. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:12

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Im indiscriminate...I just love shitboxes

Guess I’ll go with a megane today

Tbh always kinda liked these and plastic front fenders that expand when they get hot are just funny

nerd_racing > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:21

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Ford Festiva and Ford Aspires. Mazda drivelines and surprisingly good chassis for road racing. Very light and simple to maintain and fix. Stock came with 63hp 1.3L 4 cylinders but you can bolt up any Mazda B series up to the 1.8L DOHC that came in Escort GT/Protege LX or even the BPT 1.8L that came in the Familia GTX and GTR overseas. So max bump up to 226 HP isn’t too shabby.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 08:21

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Yessss I love the Festy. I will own one eventually. Not a fan of the Aspire, though. Too smooth. 

Spanfeller is a twat > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:23

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https://oppositelock.kinja.com/is-this-oppo-1827844790?_ga=2.42109996.888547095.1563365883-671299939.1561397765

Still at the shop. Gearing issue.

I still have an impossible attraction to it.

pip bip - choose Corrour > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:26

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Skoda 120L or  Lada Samara 1.3L

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:32

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Look at it.... it’s beau...somewhat attractive . It’s Italian...and Australian (at least in V6 format) . But not Melbourne. So it’s pretty shitty. And yet...

nerd_racing > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:39

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I need to regasket my 1.8L DOHC so I can get it thrown in a the Festiva going again. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Spanfeller is a twat 07/17/2019 at 08:43

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Man do I love those. Is it yours?

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 08:44

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Well, what are you waiting for?

benn454 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:46

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I still have a soft spot for 93-94 Cavaliers. It was the first car I ever bought with my own money. 1994 RS 5-s peed. It was a typical 90s GM rattletrap and had serious paint issues, as did all of its brethren, but it was a cockroach.

It made it to 12 years and 245,000 miles before it met an untimely demise. My cousin and brother lost control on gravel, spun it into a ditch, hit a culvert sideways, and did a barrel roll. Amazingly, neither was hurt even though the driver's floorboard caved in from the impact with the culvert.

nerd_racing > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:49

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Mostly the rain to stop.  It’s indoors, but I have to keep the door open to clear the engine hoist because my garage isn’t very deep. 

LongbowMkII > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:52

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Love a 2nd or 3rd gen j-body. I’ve been replaying Borderlands 2 and scooter’s line of “it may not get you there alive but it’ll get you there” seems apt. 

benn454 > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 08:55

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Or you can drop the V6 from the first gen SHO i n there and make a SHOgun.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 08:57

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Pretty much every car I like is objectively shitty. .. :P

Tra bant...FIAT 126p...Kei cars...stripper model MC Hyundai Accents...

nerd_racing > benn454 07/17/2019 at 08:59

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As cool as that sounds, I kinda like the light weight car, and the handling dynamics of the chassis as is. 

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > pip bip - choose Corrour 07/17/2019 at 08:59

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I love the Skoda 105/120/130 Estelle series!!!

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > benn454 07/17/2019 at 09:00

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Ha! Probably still made it home though. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 09:01

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Ah, that'll do it. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > benn454 07/17/2019 at 09:01

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Ehh... Not really a Festiva. That's a Festiva-shaped car wrapped around a SHO. 

pip bip - choose Corrour > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 07/17/2019 at 09:03

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something you don’t see on our roads now.

the only one i’ve seen for sale recently is CP money, a private import from the UK

punkgoose17 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:08

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Isuzu Gemini / Chevrolet Spectrum and all the other names the car was known by. In my mind it is not a crappy car.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:12

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The shittiest car I’ve been into lately is the Metro convertible. There’s two that buzz around my town a white one and a yellow one. I smile every time I see them.

benn454 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:15

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 Sadly, the landing blew out the tires and royally fucked the suspension. Engine started right up, though! 

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > benn454 07/17/2019 at 09:18

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I girl I went to school with had a real Sunbird like that. She covered the dash in zebra duct tape. It’s was a great  beater lots of fun was had in the heap.

InFierority Complex > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:20

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Got a fleet full of them...

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > InFierority Complex 07/17/2019 at 09:23

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None of those are shitty

Blocked and reported

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/17/2019 at 09:23

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I really want to TDI swap and lift one, cut out the trunk and make a trucklet. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > punkgoose17 07/17/2019 at 09:24

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Agree, not a crapcan

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:31

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I want to cut out the floor and subframes, and put one of these 5/8 scale Legends race cars underneath it. And I could be road legal... in WI, anyway. I’d just have to put a catalytic converter, and some DOT tires on it. I’d be a single seater with a 1300cc Yamaha engine. 

Spanfeller is a twat > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 09:34

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I wished, its still at the same garage as last year. But I wouldn’t buy it anyway; we have too many cars in our rooster as it stands

benn454 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/17/2019 at 09:34

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The OHV 2.2 was surprisingly torquey for a little 4 banger and the 5 speed in mine helped out a lot compared the the automatic I drove.

Man, I’m really starting to miss it now. Car I learned to drive stick in. First car I did 100 in. *cough* First car I got pulled over in...

Schaef_Camaero Z/28 > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 09:39

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I used to have a ‘91 5-speed . It was all stock, but I did a bunch of work on it after the previous owner let it sit for 10 years. Super simple to work on and it was fun to toss around.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > benn454 07/17/2019 at 09:44

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And that kinda of nostalgia is why I saw two of these J bodies at a local car show a few weeks ago. Right next to the wingadinga muscle cars and c3 corvettes.

One was some special edition Grey and white olds and it was mint!

Scratch that it was a W-body. A 90 Cutlass Supreme quad 4. Like this but white instead of red. Those wheels look really cool in person

nerd_racing > Schaef_Camaero Z/28 07/17/2019 at 09:50

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are you in the facebook group? Or the forums? Very clean looking car man.  My GL is an automatic, but the BP should liven it up.  I technically bought it for my girlfriend to drive so its staying auto for now. 

benn454 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/17/2019 at 10:05

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I pass one every day on my commute to work. A teal coupe doing 65 in the slow lane. No major rust and even the paint looks nice (something I thought was impossible). Makes me smile every time.

I’d be tempted to paint half those wheels red and put an U mbrella Corp logo on that Cutlass.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 10:06

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1984 Corolla 5-door. FWD. Almost always a 3-speed auto in the US. No tach. No options. Total rust buckets. You could get a manual with the ultra-rare diesel.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 10:18

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I mean I enjoy 90s Mopar, where do I even go from there?

Schaef_Camaero Z/28 > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 10:49

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I was on the forum, though I didn’t post much. I owned that car from late 2009 to late 2013. The original paint wasn’t great, but it shined up alright if I kept up with the wax. The interior though was toast, e verything was dried out from sitting in the Texas sun for so long. A BP swap would be pretty fun!

feather-throttle-not-hair > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 11:39

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I dunno if this is cheating, but every bone in my body tells me “fuck the first gen Neon. ”

I don’t like American cars, i especially don’t like Mopars, i don’t like its stupid ugly, cute styling, i don’t like that its front wheel drive, i don’t like all the stupid mods that happened to all of them and I don’t like their po ser-ass stripes.

All of which makes the admission that they are fucking brilliant  to drive extremely maddening. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > feather-throttle-not-hair 07/17/2019 at 11:49

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I’m not gonna lie, I used to think all the same things, but the styling, well, it’s growing on me. I’m constantly searching for an unmolested first gen.

Sedan though, because it’s lighter and has better rigidity than the coupe.

nerd_racing > Schaef_Camaero Z/28 07/17/2019 at 12:00

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I was more on the Aspire boards back then.  But yeah I go way back to 2003 on the boards. 

feather-throttle-not-hair > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 12:04

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Yup, its solidly in “would own” territory, good tip on the 4-door/coupe thing. Someday when i have more room i’ll have to keep my eye out for the right one.

Future Heap Owner > nerd_racing 07/17/2019 at 14:18

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First gen Festiva for me, too. Never driven one, but something about its simple lines appeals to me.

mazda616 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 14:21

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Does it count if I own it? I <3 old J-Bodies. Including mine.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > mazda616 07/17/2019 at 14:22

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Man do I love Jolene. What a nice looking car.

mazda616 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 14:24

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Thanks, man. Me too. It’s funny that such an objectively crappy little car can bring me so much joy, but it does. Helps that the A/C was rebuilt and filled with R134a a couple of years ago so my fat ass can stay cool while driving it this summer.

Khalbali > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/17/2019 at 16:07

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I’m with nerd_racing, I love festiva s, I owned a teal one and wish I could find another. Also 90's Saturn’s, my 93 wagon was an awesome car and dirt cheap to own.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Khalbali 07/17/2019 at 18:26

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My 94 SC2 is pretty awesome as well